So today, I want to address a particular view on relationships or as fabulous once put it, “The entree ain’t as good without something on the side.” When it comes to sides, I’m not talking about the extras that you order at a restaurant. I’m talking about the extra people you have relationships with, to compliment your main squeeze. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sides at a restaurant; usually due to my particular diet. I’m forever ordering sides upon sides to make up a meal. But when it comes to relationships, I see things a little differently. What do you think?
In all honesty, I don’t see anything wrong with searching for outside sources to pertain your happiness because it’s silly to assume that one sole individual will be able to accurately read your mood or your mind and know just exactly how to make you happy all the time. When people get into monogamous relationships, they often refer to their partner as their ‘other half; they reference them as someone who makes them happy and complete. When in reality, that’s impossible because humans will let you down by default. They aren’t perfect so there’s no way that someone will always make you happy. Your partner is not your personal jester or your psychiatrist so they will not always know the right things to do or to say. We can’t rely on them to always keep us on an even keel.
But when certain needs aren’t met by their significant other, it can lead people to think that there is something missing in their relationships. And people end up looking for something or someone else to fill that void with side pieces etc. Sometimes, it’s hard to find the strength to stay in a positive frame of mind when it comes to life and even relationships, so it’s good to have a positive circle around you. Rather than relying one person to make you happy, I think it’s better to have a variety of people and things around you that all have different benefits and are able to bring the best out in you.
Now am I saying I’m an advocate of searching for outside sources to fill an intimate need? No I am not. I believe that if two people enter a monogamous sexual relationship then there should be no extras unless the other party has agreed. I don’t believe that someone’s individual happiness should come at the detriment of someone else’s pain. If other people are used to fill a void without your partner’s awareness, especially intimately that’s when it’s been taken too far. But I do believe in using the right tool for the right job so if that means you have five key people around you for the important needs in your life then so be it. They can all compliment you. Because at the end of the day, the only person in charge of your happiness is you.